Luther Campbell isn't one of the over 300,000 Americans to die from COVID.
But he did get pretty sick, and he blames an ill-fated trip to the strip club for catching the virus.
"Last month, a friend celebrating his birthday at a local strip club would not stop blowing up my phone. He kept begging me to come. I told myself I would go in for 15 minutes and duck out. As soon as I walked through the doors, it was like stepping into a coronavirus-spreading chamber," Uncle Luke wrote in the Miami New Times
"Everybody was wildin' out and getting drunk. Almost no one was wearing masks. My buddies were all up in my face. Patrons and strippers were walking up to me and asking to take selfies. Of course, I obliged when they asked me to take my mask off. Even though I felt like everyone in the club was an asymptomatic carrier, I stayed late."
After he got Corona, Luke's temperature spiked to 102 and he lost his sense of smell and taste. He went to the hospital. but they sent him home because he wasn't having trouble breathing. Yet his troubles continued.
"The fevers would come in waves, especially at night. I'd wake up around two, three in the morning in a pool of sweat. I changed shirts three times a night because my body got so hot. Dying didn't cross my mind, but I was worried about my temperature spiking to the point that I would go into shock or I would have a stroke," Luke reported.
He's feeling better now, but he has a warning to all of those who want to see some ass and tits.
"So if you go out, put your mask on when you are not drinking or eating. You don't have to be all up on each other, either. You can still hang out at a six-foot distance from each other. And if the establishment has too many people not following the protocols, don't be afraid to go home and call it a night."